Valediction and Conjoined
The two poems, "A Valediction", by John Donne, and "Conjoined", by Judith Minty, are written about the same subject, and yet they convey two completely opposite ideas regarding the bonds of relationships. While the speaker of Donne's "Valediction" sees his relationship as having a love that transcends the physical world, the woman of "Conjoined" views her marriage as a unnatural, terrible thing that was forced upon her and which limits her. Both authors make use of literary devices such as metaphors and tone in order to convey their views.
"A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" is about a couple who is separating, possibly because of the coming death of the speaker. However, the speaker forbids his lover from being sad or mourning him, as their love is strong enough to cross the largest of distances, even that between life and death. The love of this couple is seen as greater than the normal relationship between people. In fact, the speaker says, "Twere profanation of our joys/ To tell the laity of our love." By this he means that the bond they have is so special, so beautiful that it would be disrespectful to their love to tell the common people about it. This is because their love is so profound that those in common relationships could not even comprehend. He believes the bond that is in common relationships is lesser, while that which he shares with his love is "so much refined." Where normal relationships are earthly, or "sublunar," theirs is heavenly, among the planets and the stars. The planetary metaphor is further used in the third stanza, which reads: "Moving of th' earth brings harm and fears... But trepidation of the spheres,/ Though greater far, is innocent." By this he is saying that while earthquakes are far less movement than the movement of an entire planet, it is the earthquake that the people of earth will concern themselves with. In this way, the normal people are concerned with the more shallow, physically dependent relationships, and they do not comprehend the higher love of the speaker and his lover, which is more spiritual and less dependent on actual closeness. This is why the speaker and his lover are able to endure much distance and time away from each other, through their unique bond, and is why he urges his love not to cry when they part. He even likens their bond to a compass, what's legs do not truly separate but remain connected, even with distance, which "endure[s] not yet/ A breach, but an expansion." And as one leg of the compass is far from the first, it is still connected, and its path revolves around the still leg. His point is that the love that they have is strong enough to overcome any distance, and that it will endure until they are eventually reunited.
The speaker of "Conjoined" offers a much different view of relationships than does the Speaker of "Valediction." The woman of "Conjoined" is a married woman, and she sees her own relationship as anything other than heavenly. She continually compares her marriage to unnatural, strange pairs, that would normally be separate, giving the impression that she views her marriage more as a forced, terrible union than a wonderful, loving bond. She uses such strong language in her similes as "monster," and "freaks." she speaks of a onion, made of two onions pressed together, that grew deformed because of the proximity of the other onion. These onions are covered by a "transparent skin," which makes it seem like a normal onion, and which hides the truth underneath. This is like her marriage, in which she is not happy, but in which she seems to be pleasantly joined to her love. The marriage covers the problems underneath and shows them as a happy couple. Her marriage is described, by herself, as an "accident, like the two-headed calf," or like Chang and Eng, a pair of twins joined at the chest. These are examples not only of unnatural, or "wrong," occurrences, but ones in which such a pair could not be safely separated. The speaker mentions a "skin that binds us... To sever the muscle could free one, but might kill the other." In this case, as in the others, separation could greatly improve the quality on one life, and allow them to grow, but the bond merges the two together such that separation could be the death of the other. The speaker wishes to be rid of her husband, but, as she says, she "cannot escape" the prison, her relationship, that binds her permanently to him.
Obviously, the speakers of Minty' and Donne's poems were of differing opinions when it came to their relationships. Where one saw boundless love, the other saw limiting confinement. And where one saw a supernatural, heavenly bond that can withstand any amount of separation and not be broken, the other saw a cruel, unnatural bond, that she wished could be broken.
"A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" is about a couple who is separating, possibly because of the coming death of the speaker. However, the speaker forbids his lover from being sad or mourning him, as their love is strong enough to cross the largest of distances, even that between life and death. The love of this couple is seen as greater than the normal relationship between people. In fact, the speaker says, "Twere profanation of our joys/ To tell the laity of our love." By this he means that the bond they have is so special, so beautiful that it would be disrespectful to their love to tell the common people about it. This is because their love is so profound that those in common relationships could not even comprehend. He believes the bond that is in common relationships is lesser, while that which he shares with his love is "so much refined." Where normal relationships are earthly, or "sublunar," theirs is heavenly, among the planets and the stars. The planetary metaphor is further used in the third stanza, which reads: "Moving of th' earth brings harm and fears... But trepidation of the spheres,/ Though greater far, is innocent." By this he is saying that while earthquakes are far less movement than the movement of an entire planet, it is the earthquake that the people of earth will concern themselves with. In this way, the normal people are concerned with the more shallow, physically dependent relationships, and they do not comprehend the higher love of the speaker and his lover, which is more spiritual and less dependent on actual closeness. This is why the speaker and his lover are able to endure much distance and time away from each other, through their unique bond, and is why he urges his love not to cry when they part. He even likens their bond to a compass, what's legs do not truly separate but remain connected, even with distance, which "endure[s] not yet/ A breach, but an expansion." And as one leg of the compass is far from the first, it is still connected, and its path revolves around the still leg. His point is that the love that they have is strong enough to overcome any distance, and that it will endure until they are eventually reunited.
The speaker of "Conjoined" offers a much different view of relationships than does the Speaker of "Valediction." The woman of "Conjoined" is a married woman, and she sees her own relationship as anything other than heavenly. She continually compares her marriage to unnatural, strange pairs, that would normally be separate, giving the impression that she views her marriage more as a forced, terrible union than a wonderful, loving bond. She uses such strong language in her similes as "monster," and "freaks." she speaks of a onion, made of two onions pressed together, that grew deformed because of the proximity of the other onion. These onions are covered by a "transparent skin," which makes it seem like a normal onion, and which hides the truth underneath. This is like her marriage, in which she is not happy, but in which she seems to be pleasantly joined to her love. The marriage covers the problems underneath and shows them as a happy couple. Her marriage is described, by herself, as an "accident, like the two-headed calf," or like Chang and Eng, a pair of twins joined at the chest. These are examples not only of unnatural, or "wrong," occurrences, but ones in which such a pair could not be safely separated. The speaker mentions a "skin that binds us... To sever the muscle could free one, but might kill the other." In this case, as in the others, separation could greatly improve the quality on one life, and allow them to grow, but the bond merges the two together such that separation could be the death of the other. The speaker wishes to be rid of her husband, but, as she says, she "cannot escape" the prison, her relationship, that binds her permanently to him.
Obviously, the speakers of Minty' and Donne's poems were of differing opinions when it came to their relationships. Where one saw boundless love, the other saw limiting confinement. And where one saw a supernatural, heavenly bond that can withstand any amount of separation and not be broken, the other saw a cruel, unnatural bond, that she wished could be broken.
